I have finally acquired an answer. Though it is not one that I had been anticipating, it is still an answer.

For what seemed like the first time, I heard a genuine response to the question that used to make me toss-and-turn at night. A simple, yet satisfactory, “Happiness” was all it took to untangle the mess I had inconveniently created for myself.

When I had asked the most insensitive question, as if pressing a sword against the vein of life and death, I wanted to expose the dirtiest truth. Certainly, there were only two absolute possibilities: coward or douche. As always, God had His way of gently reminding me of my weaknesses and assuring me of His awesomeness. To say the h-word was completely out of my imagination would be an understatement.

But how was I supposed to tell my familiar stranger that while they cherished my existence, I was criticizing their every attempt to achieve reconciliation? How do I tell them that I had been pointing fingers to justify my irrational behavior and convinced others to question the validity of their integrity?

Fortunately for me, the Lord’s faithfulness truly stretches endlessly to the sky. Father, comfort their heart just as You have comforted mine. Your perfection transcends my understanding and I have eternally benefited from Your glory.

Creator of the universe, thank you.

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